Depression, Job Hunting and Poverty & me- great combination!!!
I will just start this by saying that I have been depressed for a few months now.... it's a lot of things that are causing it... Pageant was a big one... then the fact that I have not been able to connect with any employers that are the least bit interested in me...I have sent lots of resumes out but no is calling me back. I don't handle the rejection well.
Pageant... well that is a looooooooooooooooooooooooooong story that I won't get into here except to say that there might be a possibility of a girl but I have no clue what is happening there....so on to job hunting...I went on a job interview right before pageant started at a radio station in Sacramento, and thought that I did pretty well.. I was happy and smiling and enthusiastic... and i thought that things went pretty well. This would have been a great job for me... now I know that people are thinking.. Sacramento.. and I live in Antioch which is about 60 miles apart and that seems like a long commute, but I had it worked out that I could take the train right up to work and it would be perfect... well no such luck... people have all told me that it wasn't the right job... probably true... but it is just so frustrating... because I work my tail off for the job I have now and I have no enjoyment out of this position or appreciation. The company I work for is run by LDS people and I would like to start having my weekends off again so that I could attempt to get back to church again... at least once in a while and feel like I belong somewhere. They keep giving me bonuses and double time pay and things but you know what, all of that gets eaten up in taxes so I don't ever see the bonuses. The government does. So in my eyes, all of their appreciation as I call it are eaten up... they are always calling me and telling me that I need to be more effecient in the things that I do and make better use of my time.... plbhhhhhhhhh... to that.
Three words that I HATE at the moment: Efficent, Spectacular, and I can't remember the third. oh well. not important. Moving on....
so I have sent out my resumes quite a bit this week and the weeks during pageant to no avail. No one will call me back for an interview. That does quite a number on my self-esteem... I know it shouldn't but it does. So I haven't quite felt like myself lately... and that leads to the POVERTY part of this little adventure.
Pageant made a little more poor this year. I know why... I drove to and from Antioch every day for about two and a half months. With gas prices being at $3.15 per gallon or there abouts... that costs me between $55.00 and $60.00 per fill up. Well you take filling up three times a week and twice on weekends..at say $55.00 per fill up and that comes out to lets see... $55.00 times5 carry the two and you get: trumpets please.... $275.00 per week for gas.. multiply that by 4 for the weeks in a month and you get: drum roll please.... $1100.00 a MONTH for gas. That is a
HE-- of a lot of money. After taking home about $2200.00 and paying $800.00 for rent and tithing and other things that comes out to negative numbers for the money for the month of July. OUCH that hurt... because when I am depressed what do I like to do... come on, someone out there reading this hopefully knows...?? do you?? Well, I will tell you... it is a four letter word beginning with the letter S... SHOP!!!!! Boy, do I love to shop when I am depressed... and I haven't been able to... so today... this being the 16th of August.. at 10:00pm Pacific time... I declare the poverty, not the depression, just the poverty, to end at least for a couple of days... I did by the way receive another credit card... so this will be the gas card for each month... I hope... Now I know that there are certain college students that read this blog that are "hating" me at the moment... but I will tell them that I have busted my butt this past couple of months and deserve the chance to enjoy myself a little. I am going to put some of this away in a savings account and of course pay my tithing and bills but then... look out MALL!! HERE I COME!!! YIPEE!!!
I will just start this by saying that I have been depressed for a few months now.... it's a lot of things that are causing it... Pageant was a big one... then the fact that I have not been able to connect with any employers that are the least bit interested in me...I have sent lots of resumes out but no is calling me back. I don't handle the rejection well.
Pageant... well that is a looooooooooooooooooooooooooong story that I won't get into here except to say that there might be a possibility of a girl but I have no clue what is happening there....so on to job hunting...I went on a job interview right before pageant started at a radio station in Sacramento, and thought that I did pretty well.. I was happy and smiling and enthusiastic... and i thought that things went pretty well. This would have been a great job for me... now I know that people are thinking.. Sacramento.. and I live in Antioch which is about 60 miles apart and that seems like a long commute, but I had it worked out that I could take the train right up to work and it would be perfect... well no such luck... people have all told me that it wasn't the right job... probably true... but it is just so frustrating... because I work my tail off for the job I have now and I have no enjoyment out of this position or appreciation. The company I work for is run by LDS people and I would like to start having my weekends off again so that I could attempt to get back to church again... at least once in a while and feel like I belong somewhere. They keep giving me bonuses and double time pay and things but you know what, all of that gets eaten up in taxes so I don't ever see the bonuses. The government does. So in my eyes, all of their appreciation as I call it are eaten up... they are always calling me and telling me that I need to be more effecient in the things that I do and make better use of my time.... plbhhhhhhhhh... to that.
Three words that I HATE at the moment: Efficent, Spectacular, and I can't remember the third. oh well. not important. Moving on....
so I have sent out my resumes quite a bit this week and the weeks during pageant to no avail. No one will call me back for an interview. That does quite a number on my self-esteem... I know it shouldn't but it does. So I haven't quite felt like myself lately... and that leads to the POVERTY part of this little adventure.
Pageant made a little more poor this year. I know why... I drove to and from Antioch every day for about two and a half months. With gas prices being at $3.15 per gallon or there abouts... that costs me between $55.00 and $60.00 per fill up. Well you take filling up three times a week and twice on weekends..at say $55.00 per fill up and that comes out to lets see... $55.00 times5 carry the two and you get: trumpets please.... $275.00 per week for gas.. multiply that by 4 for the weeks in a month and you get: drum roll please.... $1100.00 a MONTH for gas. That is a
HE-- of a lot of money. After taking home about $2200.00 and paying $800.00 for rent and tithing and other things that comes out to negative numbers for the money for the month of July. OUCH that hurt... because when I am depressed what do I like to do... come on, someone out there reading this hopefully knows...?? do you?? Well, I will tell you... it is a four letter word beginning with the letter S... SHOP!!!!! Boy, do I love to shop when I am depressed... and I haven't been able to... so today... this being the 16th of August.. at 10:00pm Pacific time... I declare the poverty, not the depression, just the poverty, to end at least for a couple of days... I did by the way receive another credit card... so this will be the gas card for each month... I hope... Now I know that there are certain college students that read this blog that are "hating" me at the moment... but I will tell them that I have busted my butt this past couple of months and deserve the chance to enjoy myself a little. I am going to put some of this away in a savings account and of course pay my tithing and bills but then... look out MALL!! HERE I COME!!! YIPEE!!!
posted by John at
8:36 PM
2 Comments:
Enjoy shopping. You derserve it. Buy something nice. Like a new outfit or some good drugs. Might I also suggest one other purchase - 24 hour fitness. Excercising, eating right, and shopping will all send endorfins to your mind and help you feel (and look) better.
But by all means - go shopping. Infact - take Saturday off from work, get about $45 in ones out of the bank and go garage sale shopping. Liven up your apartment a little.
My only advise against shopping is this: The more you spend, the bigger in debt you are, the more time you have to work for Phoenix which means less time with Joan, Me and at church. Just a cautionary thought.
Where's the story about your date today?
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