One more just because!!!!


CLASSIFIED ADS:.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE BITCH..
FREE PUPPIES: ½ COCKER SPANIEL ½ SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
FREE PUPPIES . . . PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG .
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 LBS. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT. BEEN OUT AWHILE .. BETTER BE A REWARD..
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/OFFER .(This sounds interesting:))
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE.. ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS..
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED. ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE..
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY .
HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!".
GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 CENTS LB..
NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE .
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR..
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175. .
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300..
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.
OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE & DONUTS .
FOR SALE BY OWNER: COMPLETE SET OF ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA. 45 VOLUMES. EXCELLENT CONDITION. $1,000.00 OR BEST OFFER. NO LONGER NEEDED. GOT MARRIED LAST WEEKEND. WIFE KNOWS EVERYTHING.
At least most women think they do ....

Ok!!!Since I am sooooooooooooooooo BORING according to some who read this... I will try a little something new.... I am going to post a e-mail that I received today that I thought was sooooooo funny!!!
If you don't like this then sorry!!!!


Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."